Rabindranath Tagore – Saviour of the Tantric Temples of Khajuraho

Rabindranath Tagore (born 7^th May 1861)
a Bengali poet, novelist and painter - best known for being the first non-European to be awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1913 with his book Gitanjali, Song Offerings.

Perhaps few people know that it was Tagore who intervened when “pious” Hindu vandals supported by the father of modern India, Mahatma Gandhi, decided that the erotic sculptures of the temples were deeply distressing and incompatible with the true spirit of Hinduism.

Gandhi gave his blessing to a band of fanatic Hindu vandals who wanted to destroy the walls of the temples, clean from the ‘indecent and embarrassing' affronts to their ignorant notions about Indian culture.

It took the intervention of no less than Rabrindranth Tagore who wrote to Gandhi, outraged, explaining that this was a national treasure and could not be so cavalierly demolished because some people were uncomfortable.

OSHO: "Khajuraho is a dream. And Mahatma Gandhi wanted it buried under earth so nobody could be tempted by the beautiful statues.

We are grateful to Rabindranath Tagore who prevented Gandhi from doing such a thing. He said, ‘Leave the temples as they are....’ He was a poet and he could understand their mystery.” (from: Glimpses of a Golden Childhood, Ch.4, session 4. Published : 1985)

 

Ancient Tantric Goddess Worship - Past and Present

‘‘Women are heaven,women are dharma (truth); women are the supreme fire of transformation.
Women are Buddha; women are the sangha (community); women are the Perfection of Wisdom...”
(Candamaharosana-tantra, circa 8th century CE)

...in the birthplace of Tantra, ancient India, women occupied a very important position, in fact a superior position to men. It was a culture whose word for strength and power is "Shakti'', the embodiment of the goddess, meaning "power'' and "strength.''

Today however the position of women in India seems to be very different and it appears that women have little to celebrate, as observations made by Osho over 30 years ago, come to mind:

“The women of India are living in utter slavery; their slavery is doubled.”¹

Still, it came as a surprise, when last year an independent study placed India among the top five countries in the world, as the worst place for women to live and survive,² for several reasons.

A spate of exceptionally brutal rapes of “untouchable”, Dalit women shocked India last year.³ The country is also ranked as particularly dangerous because of high levels of female infanticide. This practice has a long history in India: because of the widespread cultural preference for sons, many baby girls used to be killed soon after birth and today female foeticide - the sex-selective abortion of girls - has led to an alarming "gender gap" in the country’s population.

Moreover, India has been ranked the fourth worst country in the world for women in view of the fact that, in spite of legislation making dowry illegal, dowry demands still result in an estimated 25,000 dowry deaths/murders of women a year. Similarly, although new law now gives India's 45 million or so widows better protection, long-established social custom still rules out remarriage. Prevailing superstition throughout India links a widow - and even holds her responsible for - the death of her husband. Blamed for the fate of their husbands, they are culturally ostracized, socially marginalized. Traumatized by their personal loss, they are twice discriminated: as women and as widows. Domestic violence also affects a wide section of Indian society.⁴

Tradition still prevails with continued intolerance against menstruating women. During menstruation, women are considered to belong to the lowest caste, Shudra, and are thus prohibited from entering and worshipping in Hindu temples, with notices on temples reminding menstruating women not to enter.

Hindu religious authorities continue to debate if women are suitable to chant the Gayatri Mantra. It is believed that this mantra is one the most powerful mantras in Hinduism, which when chanted accurately will bestow strength, knowledge, bliss, right path, courage, success and glory. Traditionally women are banned from reciting it. Paradoxically, Goddess Gayatri is the personification of the mantra as she is considered the Veda Mata, the mother of all Vedas. So the prohibition on women is astonishing... 

Read full article: Ancient Tantric Goddess Worship - Past and Present

Female orgasm strenght - Theta healing

"When an orgasm has been achieved through sex, you can measure theta waves. These are also said to cause the "running high" feeling of euphoria experienced sometimes by marathon runners. If theta waves are taken as a criterion, the entire brain emits theta waves when women reach an orgasm that are close on 10 times stronger than when men climax. So, if theta waves are an indication of an orgasm's strength, then women experience an orgasm that is physically impossible for men to go through. Putting it a little crudely, if the intensity of a woman's orgasm was played through a man's brain, there's a danger that the shock to his system would kill him. That risk makes it impossible to experiment on a man at the moment." (Research by  Dr. Kunio Kitamura )

An obvious question arises: Can these Theta waves contribute to healing?

According to Tao, a brief burst of explosive energy occurs when a man or woman reaches orgasm. Western science has already established that, at the point of sexual orgasm, human brain wave patterns alter radically, literally putting the person into an 'altered state of consciousness'. Profound physiological and electrical changes occur throughout the system during orgasm, and a burst of energy is indeed emitted. Partners may absorb one another's burst of sexual energy at the moment of orgasm by following some guidelines:

·         Hug your partner tightly and maintain maximum surface contact between your skins. At orgasm, the entire body radiates energy from its surface contact.

·         Press and rub the public regions closely together. The biggest burst of sexual energy during orgasm naturally occurs in the region of the 'Sea Of Energy' (chee-hai), located below the navel

Authentic Tantric Massage for Women

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically. This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

Tantric Bodywork

Tantric bodywork teaches us that tantra is where men and women feel worthy of nothing but the best...

...where women understand, by example and accept the gentle teachings their own bodies.

...where men understand how to love and honour women and are loved and adored in return.

...where people aspire to excellence in their sexuality and love relationships, expand and enhance their feelings about sexuality and their sensual nature.

Religious and social conditioning has and is still depriving women of their birthright, to embrace fully their radiant sensuality. Part of the problem is that we live in a culture which worships male energy which has led women who are struggling for recognition, to act in a masculine way disconnecting from the power of their female energy. The power of the feminine is not acknowledged and unconsciously even feared. Women have been driven away from their own bodies and sexuality and often fail to recognise and articulate their own needs, desires, creativity and sensual nature.

The fact is, that we all suffer, men and women, if women feel cut off from important aspects of their internal creative lives and sensuality. Because if aspects of the creative feminine appear inaccessible to women, then this unique feminine creativity is not available to men either and this is a double tragedy.

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply and therapeutically. This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never really believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

This is an honouring, loving, full body massage, in which every part of the body is touched, held, massaged and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality, traumas, low self-esteem, poor body image, (e.g.: due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric bodywork, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty.

 

Here the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

In Conversation - Menstruation, Tantra, Neo-Tantra

... Jane wanted to be reassured, that the session would NOT include meditation, breath-work or intimacy exercises. During the past 2 years, she has spent over a thousand pounds on workshops retreats - angry and fed up with, what she called the "tantra industry" in England, having read books on authentic, original Tantra.

It is true that fundamental aspects of ancient tantra, relating women, remain taboo subjects. Menstruation and menstrual blood has occupied a central place in tantric practice and ritual. This is hardly ever mentioned today, yet just by talking about it, menstrual mythology and iconography for women (and men) can be a liberating, empowering, and healing experience.  (Particularly, as in our culture a negative view of menstruation, social and religious conditioning has left a deep scar on women's psyche and body image.)
   

‘‘Blood is the female (Vama) elixir. Mixed with wine and semen, it is the Absolute.’’

‘‘Sri Sankara said: The first menses appearing in a woman who has lost her virginity is Svayambhu blood. In a maiden born of a married woman and begotten by another man, that which arises is Kunda menses, the substance causing the granting of any desire. Devesi, a maiden begotten by a widow gives rise to Gola menses, which subdues gods. The menses arising in the first period after a virgin becomes a married woman is the all bewildering Svapushpa.’’
‘‘A brahmin goes to heaven by endless washing of the feet and mouth, whereas a person repeatedly making a forehead mark of Kunda, Gola or Udbhava menses destroys various ailments such as leprosy and smallpox and is free from all disease in the same way that a serpent sloughs its skin.’’

Menstruating Dakini

Your touch...

"Yesterday, late morning a man held my face in his hands :). Strong hands, yet soft and tender. A man's hands on a woman's face can be so very comforting, can be so deeply loving. I felt this peace of understanding, where I knew how blessed I was to have your beautiful hands holding my face. Your heart, your love, your touch caressing me, holding me… I am so eternally grateful for this..." (letter from M.)

Mythology, Menstruation and the “Woman with the Issue of Blood”



Christ and the Woman with the Issue of Blood, by Paolo Veronese,
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna, Austria

Concern from the Vatican about environmental issues has been in the news lately. The ‘seven deadly sins’ have been updated to include environmental pollution and during his American visit the Pope repeatedly spoke of his concerns about damage to the environment. In July, on his Australian tour, “his holiness” recycled his speech on this topic once more.

I am a little reluctant to welcome these comments from the Catholic Church, particularly as in the Bible the best publicised environmental vandalism - the deliberate and senseless destruction of a wild fig tree - was in fact perpetrated by Jesus himself. This is how authors of the Good Book report it in the Gospel of Mark (11;12-21):

“The next day as they were leaving Bethany, Jesus was hungry. Seeing in the distance a fig tree in leaf, he went to find out if it had any fruit. When he reached it, he found nothing but leaves, because it was not the season for figs. Then he said to the tree, "May no one ever eat fruit from you again." And his disciples heard him say it… In the morning, as they went along, they saw the fig tree withered from the roots. Peter remembered and said to Jesus: "Rabbi, look! The fig tree you cursed has withered!"

Today, of course, a well-known public figure could never get away with such pointless vandalism, and anyone openly destroying a budding tree, in front of witnesses, would probably be crucified by the British press. At the time, however, only Juno, the Goddess of the wild fig tree, was watching with horror the obliteration of Her sacred tree.

Lammas (and fresh figs)

This is the time when thanks are given for the fertility of the fields. It was traditional in the Scottish Highlands to sprinkle drops of menstrual blood on doorposts and around the house using a wisp of straw and on Lammas Day people smeared their floors and cows with menstrual blood, an act of especial protective power at Lammas and at Beltane.

Lammas is the Festival of First Fruits. Fig trees in the Holy Land also produce their first fruit about this time and up to late September. Modern Bible criticism also has a field day with the fig tree enigma. Scholars question if this took place in the spring, as reported in the Gospels, or late summer/autumn. They point out that Jesus was familiar with the seasons of the land and would not expect fruits on a fig tree in the spring. Others remark that it is completely out of character that a religious Jew, like Jesus, should destroy a fruit tree.

Read more: http://www.goddess-pages.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=492&Itemid=99999999#ixzz1YUeI2l4N

Older Women, Sexual Desire and Tantric Massage

Sexuality is an important part of health and identity in every stage of a woman’s life. However, in western societies sexuality is often considered the domain of the young. The idea of mature women having and enjoying sex sits uncomfortably with many people. It is still the case today that it is more acceptable for older men than older women to be sexual.

Today, ideas of older women's sexuality often stem from traditional Christian values, where the woman was passive in her sex life, and sex was mainly for reproductive purposes. The early Christian system of belief, that declared women unclean by nature, inherently sinful and dangerous, stifled and subdued all expressions of female sexuality and creativity. The creative wisdom of mature women, were seen by the Church, as especially dangerous and the Inquisition prosecuted women healers, seers, herbalists, midwives for centuries, burning them as witches.

In sharp contrast, many “primitive societies” view menopausal women as embodiments of wisdom and creative sexuality as the Native American saying illustrates: “At menarche a young woman enters her power, throughout her menstruating years she practices her power, and at menopause she becomes her power.” Many women-centered writers in the last few decades celebrate the menopause and subsequent years as a time of positive change and a time to find new fulfillment - including sexual satisfaction.

Sex is linked to youthfulness, and a woman is often portrayed as desirable and desiring only if she has a slim and youthful body. It follows that older women whose bodies have changed are often perceived as not having sex at all! However, research has shown that many older women have sex as often as they used to in their thirties-forties and for many different reasons, sex often gets better in later life and feels more fulfilling for women.

In many indigenous societies, this is far more recognised, and older women often play the role of sexual initiator or instructor for young men.

In fact over a third of women report an increase in their libido, during and after the menopause. Sadly, when this happens, many women think, that there is something wrong with them. Often religious and social conditioning forces women to suppress sexual desire subconsciously and this can often lead to chronic depression.

Because of the physical changes that occur, some women may feel less satisfied with their body image. In fact research, published in the Journal of Sex Research, suggests that women’s lack of desire is more to do with their changing body image, not their hormone levels. If stress and psychological illnesses such as depression or anxiety develop, they (and medications given: anti-depressants and tranquillisers) can also interfere with libido and sexual desire.

Women going through the life-changing forces of the menopause can find the oft-needed reassurance of strength, beauty and femininity in Tantric Massage. It offers both a time for support and inner thought, as well as a chance to attend solely to her body and spirit. Open discussion with regard to sexual needs, desires, and expectations will also improve sexual confidence and allow older women to express their sexuality with much more freedom. Overall, mature women are said to be much more likely to have fulfilling sex lives and achieve multiple orgasms than women half their age.

Letter from A.

I wanted to apologize again for running so late today.
Your hands truly speak for themselves...! The session today was very enjoyable and pleasurable. I felt, alive, fresh, envigorated and I felt like the most beautiful woman on the planet after this session :) it was an amazing experience.

Therapeutic Massage for Survivors of Trauma and Sexual Abuse

Treatment for survivors of trauma and childhood physical and sexual abuse is a highly specialized field, in part because of the complexity of issues involved in both the original trauma and in the psychological and physical symptoms that can emerge in the aftermath. Resolution of the trauma is never final; recovery is never complete. The impact of a traumatic event continues to reverberate throughout the survivor’s lifecycle. With each new life event comes the potential of a stress-induced return of traumatic memories.

Psychotherapy has been and continues to be the first-line order of treatment for survivors and is essential in working through deep-seated impairments in trust, relationships, body image and self-perception. For many, the adaptations they created to cope with the abuse will later emerge as maladaptive barriers to healthy functioning in adult life. While verbal therapy is critical to retrieval and integration of the fragmented mind, there is another aspect to recovery that has more recently gained attention and validity: that of retrieving the body as well.

Recognition that the body also holds the scars of trauma has led to increasing use of Therapeutic Massage/bodywork as a valid treatment for survivors. In addition to traditional massage, some therapists have developed specialized modalities. Other somatic therapies integrating aspects of body awareness and emotional release as part of a body/mind approach are also helpful. Since the body was integral to the trauma, it must be integrated into the healing process.

Quite commonly, the traumatized person resorts to defensive coping mechanisms, dissociation that can carry into adulthood. With any future stress, there can be a tendency to escape through dissociation and a separation from awareness of the body’s experience. While dissociation may temporarily serve an adaptive function, in the long term, lack of integration of traumatic memories seems to be the critical element that leads to the development of the complex behavioural change that we call Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The effects of abuse on regulation of bodily and emotional states are well documented. Chronic hyper-arousal and attempts to adapt can lead to disturbances with sleep and digestion, eating disorders, and other forms of body distress. Survivors are prone to experience depression and anxiety, and in some cases resort to self-mutilation to block out emotional pain. As the child grows up the fragmentation of self, both in body and mind, increases fragility as the adult tries to navigate life with maladaptive defences. What occurs is a gradual breakdown of defences, surfacing as problems in maintaining relationships, jobs; alcohol and substance abuse, or even suicidal thoughts.

Therapeutic Massage

As the body was integral to the trauma, it is also integral to the healing process. In the past, psychotherapy was a stand-alone treatment, and it remains a necessary element for processing and reframing the psychological effects of abuse. But with the growing understanding of body/mind connection, there has been increased interest and practice of providing bodywork to facilitate wholeness. For some clients, after years of verbal therapy, there comes a time when they need and want to reclaim the body.

It is important to note that not all survivors are appropriate candidates for this approach. Several factors can influence suitability, including ego strength, the readiness to embrace change, level of dissociation, potential for psychosis, and a desire to explore this option for resolution at a deeper body level.

As a backlash to abuse, aversion to touch leaves some victims touch-deprived. The experience of touch is another important benefit of bodywork. It involves learning that touch can be pleasurable and positive experience. Even for those in a relationship, may have difficulties with trust, intimacy, receiving touch, etc...

The therapist has to find the appropriate touch for each individual client. Asking for constant feedback, clients can assume ownership of their body within this safe environment and determine their boundaries. What pressure to use and when to touch, when to hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. It’s the immediacy of touch, the caring and nurturing it conveys, that makes it a highly therapeutic experience.

A male therapist?

When there is a history of emotional, physical or sexual abuse, the lack of trust is often coupled with a general fear of men.

In therapeutic massage the empathic witnessing by a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, and can provide the quality of touch and presence that can restore health in mind and body. The quality of this presence will also create safety and in this safe space healing can happen.

The Chemistry of Tantra

Tiresias was drawn into an argument between the Goddess Hera and her husband Zeus, on the theme of who has more pleasure in sex: the man, as Hera claimed; or, as Zeus claimed, the woman, as Tiresias had experienced both. Tiresias replied "Of ten parts a man enjoys one only." Hera instantly struck him blind for his impiety. Zeus could do nothing to stop her, but he did give Tiresias the gift of foresight and a lifespan of seven lives.

Until recently, exactly what happens in the brain during sex was something of a mystery to scientists. American researcher now have uncovered what goes on in a woman’s head during an orgasm. The scientists from Rutgers University, New Jersey, used scans to monitor women’s brains during orgasm and found that different brain parts are activated when various parts of her body are aroused. They found that up to 30 different parts of the brain are activated, including those responsible for emotion, touch, joy, satisfaction and memory. The scientists found that two minutes before orgasm the brain’s reward centres become active. These are the areas usually activated when eating food and drink.

Immediately before they reached the peak, other areas of the brain became affected such as the sensory cortex, which receives ‘touch’ messages from parts of the body. The final part of the brain to be activated is the hypothalamus, the ‘control’ part which regulates temperature, hunger, thirst and tiredness. The scientists also discovered that sexual arousal numbs the female nervous system to such an extent that a woman doesn’t feel as much pain — only pleasure. The team now hopes to map what happens in a man’s brain during orgasm.

A key hormone released during sex is oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. This lowers our defences and makes us trust people more. It’s also the key to bonding, as it increases levels of empathy. Women produce more of this hormone, although it’s not clear why, and this means they are more likely to let their guard down and fall in love with a man after sex. However, the problem is that the body can’t distinguish whether the person we’re with is a casual fling or relationship material — oxytocin is released either way. So while it might help you bond with the love of your life, it’s also the reason you may feel so miserable when a short-term relationship ends.

Men, on the other hand, instead of getting a surge of bonding hormone receive a surge of simple pleasure. The problem is that when a man has an orgasm, the main hormone released is dopamine — the pleasure hormone. And this surge can be addictive. That’s why so many more men tend to suffer from sex addiction.

Clinical Research - healthy sexuality linked to general health

Although many of the benefits reputed to come from sex are drawn from inconclusive studies, there are in fact, many positive health benefits have been substantiated by scientific research.

Depression in women - One study, conducted by psychiatrist Gordon Gallup of the State University of New York, Albany, found that females having unprotected sex were significantly less depressed than both sexually inactive females and females who had sex with protection — indicating a connection between exposure to semen and elevated mood in women. Gallup said some of the chemicals found in semen can be found in the female bloodstream after sex — having been absorbed through the vaginal epithelial tissue — within about an hour of intercourse.
His study, published in 2001, also found that depression scores went up as time after the sexual encounter increased, suggesting the possibility of a “semen-related withdrawal effect.”

Endometriosis - Another study, conducted at Yale University, fertility doctor Harvey Kliman, explored the effects of orgasm on endometriosis — a condition in which the uterine lining grows in other areas of the female body.

Kliman’s study found that women who had a high frequency of orgasm during menstruation— either through intercourse or masturbation — had the lowest instances of endometriosis. While orgasms ordinarily produce upwards contractions to suck semen inwards, during menstruation, orgasms instead intensify the outward motion of orgasmic contractions, thereby pushing debris out instead of pulling it in, he said.

Logan Levkoff, a sexologist who spoke at Yale on the female orgasm, said sex increases the production of DHEA, a natural steroid, and releases hormones that reduce stress, improve muscle pain and cramping.

Orgasms and attitudes about female genitals

An Indiana University study published in the September issue of the International Journal of Sexual Health found that women who feel more positively about women's genitals find it easier to orgasm and are more likely to engage in sexual health promoting behaviors, such as having regular gynecological exams or performing vulvar self-examinations.

"These are important findings about body image," said Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation. "Our culture often portrays women's genitals as dirty and in need of cleaning and grooming. Some women may have had greater exposure to such negative messages or may be more susceptible to their impact."
Herbenick's study created a scale for measuring men's and women's attitudes toward women's genitals. Such a scale, she wrote in the study, could be useful in sex therapy, in medical settings to help better understand decision-making that goes into gynecological care and treatment, and in health education settings involving women and their sexual health. The study also found that men had more positive attitudes about women's genitals than women.
"Women are often more critical about their own bodies - and other women's bodies - than men are," Herbenick said. "What we found in this study is that men generally feel positive about a variety of aspects of women's genitals including how they look, smell, taste and feel."

Authentic Tantric Massage for Women

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically.

This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

Charging for Tantric Massage

A conversation in a Tantric Massage session recently, has helped to crystallise my thoughts on receiving payment from women for Tantric Massage.

*********
The consciousness of human sexuality still carries shame, guilt, and fear. Women, married or in a relationship, are still struggling with awkwardness, embarrassment or anger, under the "blanket" of a loving, committed relationship… Sex is still commonly an awkward and uncomfortable subject for many...

Many of the shaming elements in biblical interpretation and church history have passed from generation to generation into the present experience, our culture and society at large. I am deeply concerned for the healing of the profound trauma of shame and fear, not just in individuals, but within group systems, such as marriages, families. Today it's like an aftershock of an earthquake - using seismological imagery, I see long-unhealed sense of guilt as a dangerous "fault line" running through individual lives and in families, particularly affecting women for generations, and the words of the Bible are still shaping how men see and think of women:

“…No-one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth.
These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they kept themselves pure.” (Revelations 14:3-4)

For much of its history, Christianity has emphasized a strong separation of body and spirit, leaving some to consider the body "bad" and the spirit "good," thereby reinforcing our modern-day lack of clarity about sexuality. In the first century Paul advocated celibacy, if at all possible, as the best way to give oneself fully to the service of Christ. This set the stage for the shaming of those who couldn't’t measure up to the ideal. A fear of the flesh and denial of sexual impulses have left us with a disembodied theology and a great deal of shame and self-loathing. I see women are especially affected to this day...

@@@@@

Tantric bodywork teaches us that tantra is where men and women feel worthy of nothing but the best...

...where women understand, by example and gentle teachings their bodies, and that the shape of the entrance to their yoni is a sacred geometric shape called a Vesica Piscis.

...where men understand how to love and honour women and are loved and adored in return.

...where people aspire to excellence in their sexuality and love relationships, expand and enhance their feelings about sexuality

Religious and social conditioning has, and is still depriving women of their birthright, to embrace fully their sexuality and abandon themselves in their desire. Part of the problem is that we live in a culture which worships male energy which has led women who are struggling for recognition to act in a masculine way disconnecting from the power of their female energy. The power of the feminine is not acknowledged and unconsciously even feared.

In view of the above and the damage caused in a male dominated society, it seems obvious, that women should be offered Tantric Massage by their boyfriends, lovers, husbands and ideally even by therapists freely.

*********

After many years as a complementary therapist, I found that by working directly with the sexual and erotic energy of the body, healing could be speeded up. It is sacred work which requires maturity and self-knowledge. This work is enjoyable, often awesome - moving into sacred spaces to meet a radiant feminine spiritual-sexual energy. It is a privilege to witness and be given such trust.

I would not exclude anyone who sincerely want to change and yet I also need to honour myself, my time and experience. It is a conflict, difficult to reconcile in a marketplace-driven society.

My fees are based on the fact that as a complementary therapist I charge £50/hour for therapeutic massage, reflexology or aromatherapy sessions. (This is probably half the rate charged for “tantric massage" to men on websites where you find a masseuse with no tantra training or experience, although admittedly they may be more attractive than me.)
A genuine Tantric Massage session is around two hours long, and as I also offer flexible rates in my clinical work - feel free to pay as much as you can comfortably afford.

Ps;
To 'N',

Thank you for the inspiration for writing this....
Thank you for your joie de vivre...
Thank you for the softness of your body...
Thank you for guiding me with the rhythm of you breath...
...and allowing me to witness your beautiful "surrender".

A

Authentic Tantric Massage for Women

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically.

This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

Women's Health Benefits Of Tantra

Tantra and sexual union is usually thought of in terms of the intimacy - and sheer enjoyment- that it brings. But there are biological reasons that sex is good for your general well being. A woman’s health benefits of Tantric massage and sex range from antidepressant to weight loss, mood stabilizer to smell enhancer.

Sex can have many effects on the mental states of those involved due to the hormones that surge during (and after) the event. Sex can relieve stress and lower blood pressure. A sex life that includes sessions at least once a week increases the levels of a certain antibody that can help fight off colds and infections.



Another hormone that has big effects on a woman’s health benefits through touch and tantric massage or sex is oxytocin, which is released in the body - particularly during orgasm. Oxytocin creates a feeling of bonding and trust and can lead to feelings of nurture and generosity. It also improves the quality of sleep - a great alternative method to those sleep medications. When oxytocin surges, so do endorphins. An increase in endorphins has proven to increase pain tolerance. More abstract ways that sex can be beneficial includes an improved sense of smell. This is brought about by the hormone prolactin. This hormone has also been shown to reduce depression in women.

Yoni Massage

********************Ancient Yoni Worship*******************

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the female genitals, describing not only the anatomy but also encompassing the energetic and spiritual dimensions. While a Yoni massage offers women the opportunity to enhance their sexuality, the effects of this practice are much more profound and have ramifications affecting every area of life.


Long held inhibitions in the West about sexuality and the shame and guilt associated with the sexual zones of the body have created deep-seated barriers that prevent individuals from fully expressing themselves.

The ancient art of Tantra has never fostered this sense of shame, and sexual organs are compared to flowers and jewels. Similarly over 5000 years ago, in the poetry of Sumer, the beautiful yoni of Goddess Inanna, is celebrated:

"Inanna placed the shugurra, the crown of the steppe, on her head.

She went to the sheepfold, to the shepherd.
She leaned back against the apple tree.

When she leaned back against the apple tree, her vulva was wondrous to behold.

Rejoicing at her wondrous vulva, the young woman Inanna applauded herself"

from "Inanna, Queen of Heaven and Earth". Diane Wolkstein and Samuel Noah Kramer.


The practices provided in YONI MASSAGE are designed to allow women to overcome these barriers and reconnect to their innermost core and deepest feminine nature. Yoni massage is not simply a hands-on technique but involves the conscious direction of energy throughout the body through deep breathing and visualization. It gives women the ability to cleanse and energetically stimulate the chakras as well as achieve emotional healing by releasing the traumatic pain that often becomes seated in the Yoni.

The relegation of this important spiritual and energetic center to a 'private part' hinders the process of enlightenment. Once women are able to be in touch with their yoni energy, their connection to the entire web of life is restored to its rightful place. Yoni massage provides emotional healing by releasing traumatic memories stored in the yoni.

Female sexuality - mind body connection

It is nice to see more and more clinical research that focuses on women, especially when it looks at the female desire and sexuality. A recent article in the New York Times discusses the question that Freud made famous, "What Do Women Want?" and puts some really valuable points out in the open.

While there is so much to be taken from this article, I'll mention one study of particular relevance. Meredith Chivers, scientist and psychology professor, conducted a study where she showed groups of men and women different clips of video: both hetero- and homosexual sex, self pleasuring acts, nude men and women, and even bonobo monkeys having sex. Their state of arousal was measured objectively, through a plethysmograph (a device that measures gential blood flow to determine one's state of arousal), and subjectively through a rating system that allowed the subjects to rate how aroused they felt after each clip.

The results? In both hetero- and homosexual male subjects, the responses on the rating system were in agreement with what the device showed their physical state of arousal to be. With the women, it was a different story. Women of all sexual orientations showed arousal during ALL of the clips, but what they reported on the rating system was much different. In most cases, they reported much less arousal than what their physical signs were showing. As author Daniel Bergner put it, "...with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person."

What does this mean to us? It highlights the fact that female desire is not predicated on pure physical arousal alone. Rather, it's the connection between the physical, emotional, and psychological parts that come together to really turn a woman on. It's something that genuine Tantric Massage can address: teaching them how to forge the connection between mind, heart, and body in the sexual arena and in all areas of their lives.

So what is the one thing preventing you from having better love and sex?? Mind-body disconnect. So if you feel you need to rediscover a long lost libido, the advice is: Stop asking "what is wrong with me?" and start tuning into the signals your body gives you, explore what turns you on, and get to the core of your fullest desires.

If you are feeling stuck in this area and want to learn how you can make immediate improvements to your relationships, sex life, and emotional well-being - Tantric Massage will make a real difference.