If I Let You Touch Me...

http://www.everotica.blogspot.com/

Poetry by Gabriella King

If I let you touch me, tease me, maybe seduce me
… how do you think I would feel?
Would I fall gracefully into your arms, limp with the hunger
Of need and yet with the resentment of anticipation
Dangling temptation in front of me, so near and yet so far

If I let you touch me, tease me, maybe seduce me
Would you take me to the mountaintop
Of my most salacious fantasy?
Or would you dare disappoint me, dear lover
Leaving me nude within my own sweat and feverish hunger
upon an empty bed of silken sheets and wet dreams?

If I let you touch me, tease me, maybe seduce me

Would you let me engage and enjoy
In the maelstrom of passion’s seductive flirt
Where I could roam, the beast within
Given freedom to satisfy my hunger and thirst
To be hunted by you, to be filled by you
So that my spirit could truly soar

If I let you touch me, tease me, maybe seduce me
Could you truly satisfy my need?

*****

Orgasms and attitudes about female genitals

An Indiana University study published in the September issue of the International Journal of Sexual Health found that women who feel more positively about women's genitals find it easier to orgasm and are more likely to engage in sexual health promoting behaviors, such as having regular gynecological exams or performing vulvar self-examinations.

"These are important findings about body image," said Debby Herbenick, associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation. "Our culture often portrays women's genitals as dirty and in need of cleaning and grooming. Some women may have had greater exposure to such negative messages or may be more susceptible to their impact."
Herbenick's study created a scale for measuring men's and women's attitudes toward women's genitals. Such a scale, she wrote in the study, could be useful in sex therapy, in medical settings to help better understand decision-making that goes into gynecological care and treatment, and in health education settings involving women and their sexual health. The study also found that men had more positive attitudes about women's genitals than women.
"Women are often more critical about their own bodies - and other women's bodies - than men are," Herbenick said. "What we found in this study is that men generally feel positive about a variety of aspects of women's genitals including how they look, smell, taste and feel."

Authentic Tantric Massage for Women

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically.

This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

Charging for Tantric Massage

A conversation in a Tantric Massage session recently, has helped to crystallise my thoughts on receiving payment from women for Tantric Massage.

*********
The consciousness of human sexuality still carries shame, guilt, and fear. Women, married or in a relationship, are still struggling with awkwardness, embarrassment or anger, under the "blanket" of a loving, committed relationship… Sex is still commonly an awkward and uncomfortable subject for many...

Many of the shaming elements in biblical interpretation and church history have passed from generation to generation into the present experience, our culture and society at large. I am deeply concerned for the healing of the profound trauma of shame and fear, not just in individuals, but within group systems, such as marriages, families. Today it's like an aftershock of an earthquake - using seismological imagery, I see long-unhealed sense of guilt as a dangerous "fault line" running through individual lives and in families, particularly affecting women for generations, and the words of the Bible are still shaping how men see and think of women:

“…No-one could learn the song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth.
These are those who did not defile themselves with women, for they kept themselves pure.” (Revelations 14:3-4)

For much of its history, Christianity has emphasized a strong separation of body and spirit, leaving some to consider the body "bad" and the spirit "good," thereby reinforcing our modern-day lack of clarity about sexuality. In the first century Paul advocated celibacy, if at all possible, as the best way to give oneself fully to the service of Christ. This set the stage for the shaming of those who couldn't’t measure up to the ideal. A fear of the flesh and denial of sexual impulses have left us with a disembodied theology and a great deal of shame and self-loathing. I see women are especially affected to this day...

@@@@@

Tantric bodywork teaches us that tantra is where men and women feel worthy of nothing but the best...

...where women understand, by example and gentle teachings their bodies, and that the shape of the entrance to their yoni is a sacred geometric shape called a Vesica Piscis.

...where men understand how to love and honour women and are loved and adored in return.

...where people aspire to excellence in their sexuality and love relationships, expand and enhance their feelings about sexuality

Religious and social conditioning has, and is still depriving women of their birthright, to embrace fully their sexuality and abandon themselves in their desire. Part of the problem is that we live in a culture which worships male energy which has led women who are struggling for recognition to act in a masculine way disconnecting from the power of their female energy. The power of the feminine is not acknowledged and unconsciously even feared.

In view of the above and the damage caused in a male dominated society, it seems obvious, that women should be offered Tantric Massage by their boyfriends, lovers, husbands and ideally even by therapists freely.

*********

After many years as a complementary therapist, I found that by working directly with the sexual and erotic energy of the body, healing could be speeded up. It is sacred work which requires maturity and self-knowledge. This work is enjoyable, often awesome - moving into sacred spaces to meet a radiant feminine spiritual-sexual energy. It is a privilege to witness and be given such trust.

I would not exclude anyone who sincerely want to change and yet I also need to honour myself, my time and experience. It is a conflict, difficult to reconcile in a marketplace-driven society.

My fees are based on the fact that as a complementary therapist I charge £50/hour for therapeutic massage, reflexology or aromatherapy sessions. (This is probably half the rate charged for “tantric massage" to men on websites where you find a masseuse with no tantra training or experience, although admittedly they may be more attractive than me.)
A genuine Tantric Massage session is around two hours long, and as I also offer flexible rates in my clinical work - feel free to pay as much as you can comfortably afford.

Ps;
To 'N',

Thank you for the inspiration for writing this....
Thank you for your joie de vivre...
Thank you for the softness of your body...
Thank you for guiding me with the rhythm of you breath...
...and allowing me to witness your beautiful "surrender".

A

Authentic Tantric Massage for Women

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically.

This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never believed that this kind of touch had really existed.

The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.

Women's Health Benefits Of Tantra

Tantra and sexual union is usually thought of in terms of the intimacy - and sheer enjoyment- that it brings. But there are biological reasons that sex is good for your general well being. A woman’s health benefits of Tantric massage and sex range from antidepressant to weight loss, mood stabilizer to smell enhancer.

Sex can have many effects on the mental states of those involved due to the hormones that surge during (and after) the event. Sex can relieve stress and lower blood pressure. A sex life that includes sessions at least once a week increases the levels of a certain antibody that can help fight off colds and infections.



Another hormone that has big effects on a woman’s health benefits through touch and tantric massage or sex is oxytocin, which is released in the body - particularly during orgasm. Oxytocin creates a feeling of bonding and trust and can lead to feelings of nurture and generosity. It also improves the quality of sleep - a great alternative method to those sleep medications. When oxytocin surges, so do endorphins. An increase in endorphins has proven to increase pain tolerance. More abstract ways that sex can be beneficial includes an improved sense of smell. This is brought about by the hormone prolactin. This hormone has also been shown to reduce depression in women.

Yoni Massage

********************Ancient Yoni Worship*******************

Yoni is the Sanskrit word for the female genitals, describing not only the anatomy but also encompassing the energetic and spiritual dimensions. While a Yoni massage offers women the opportunity to enhance their sexuality, the effects of this practice are much more profound and have ramifications affecting every area of life.


Long held inhibitions in the West about sexuality and the shame and guilt associated with the sexual zones of the body have created deep-seated barriers that prevent individuals from fully expressing themselves.

The ancient art of Tantra has never fostered this sense of shame, and sexual organs are compared to flowers and jewels. Similarly over 5000 years ago, in the poetry of Sumer, the beautiful yoni of Goddess Inanna, is celebrated:

"Inanna placed the shugurra, the crown of the steppe, on her head.

She went to the sheepfold, to the shepherd.
She leaned back against the apple tree.

When she leaned back against the apple tree, her vulva was wondrous to behold.

Rejoicing at her wondrous vulva, the young woman Inanna applauded herself"

from "Inanna, Queen of Heaven and Earth". Diane Wolkstein and Samuel Noah Kramer.


The practices provided in YONI MASSAGE are designed to allow women to overcome these barriers and reconnect to their innermost core and deepest feminine nature. Yoni massage is not simply a hands-on technique but involves the conscious direction of energy throughout the body through deep breathing and visualization. It gives women the ability to cleanse and energetically stimulate the chakras as well as achieve emotional healing by releasing the traumatic pain that often becomes seated in the Yoni.

The relegation of this important spiritual and energetic center to a 'private part' hinders the process of enlightenment. Once women are able to be in touch with their yoni energy, their connection to the entire web of life is restored to its rightful place. Yoni massage provides emotional healing by releasing traumatic memories stored in the yoni.

Female sexuality - mind body connection

It is nice to see more and more clinical research that focuses on women, especially when it looks at the female desire and sexuality. A recent article in the New York Times discusses the question that Freud made famous, "What Do Women Want?" and puts some really valuable points out in the open.

While there is so much to be taken from this article, I'll mention one study of particular relevance. Meredith Chivers, scientist and psychology professor, conducted a study where she showed groups of men and women different clips of video: both hetero- and homosexual sex, self pleasuring acts, nude men and women, and even bonobo monkeys having sex. Their state of arousal was measured objectively, through a plethysmograph (a device that measures gential blood flow to determine one's state of arousal), and subjectively through a rating system that allowed the subjects to rate how aroused they felt after each clip.

The results? In both hetero- and homosexual male subjects, the responses on the rating system were in agreement with what the device showed their physical state of arousal to be. With the women, it was a different story. Women of all sexual orientations showed arousal during ALL of the clips, but what they reported on the rating system was much different. In most cases, they reported much less arousal than what their physical signs were showing. As author Daniel Bergner put it, "...with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person."

What does this mean to us? It highlights the fact that female desire is not predicated on pure physical arousal alone. Rather, it's the connection between the physical, emotional, and psychological parts that come together to really turn a woman on. It's something that genuine Tantric Massage can address: teaching them how to forge the connection between mind, heart, and body in the sexual arena and in all areas of their lives.

So what is the one thing preventing you from having better love and sex?? Mind-body disconnect. So if you feel you need to rediscover a long lost libido, the advice is: Stop asking "what is wrong with me?" and start tuning into the signals your body gives you, explore what turns you on, and get to the core of your fullest desires.

If you are feeling stuck in this area and want to learn how you can make immediate improvements to your relationships, sex life, and emotional well-being - Tantric Massage will make a real difference.

Female Sexuality and Tantra

Following a healing session yesterday with a beautiful 63 year old woman, I feel I need to write down some some of my thoughts........

Many women complain that sexual prowess is the sole terrain of men, and there is really nothing a woman can do about it. This is a holdover from a tired old patriarchal domination of our sexual practices and mores where every act of sex seems hopelessly weighed in favor of the male climax. This mindset unfortunately still dominates most heterosexual relationships.

I feel strongly that particularly middle-aged and older women have been unjustly made to feel they should abdicate their power as sexual beings. Originating from Christian attitudes - today this propaganda is generated largely by the advertising and media world. Nothing could be further from the truth. A Tantric therapist is committed to showing mature women methods of opening themselves up to the life-affirming Tantric way which offers possibilities for them, to experience the most fulfilling sexual intimacy they've ever had at any age!

Tantric massage

Tantric massage is basically the meeting of two people offering unconditional love to explore intimacy and trust, through touch, in the presence of the Divine. It also understood that in the context of tantra, sexuality and spirituality are inseparable.

In my opinion the reason why Tantra survives today, despite the persecution of sexuality in various religions and civilizations, the reason it emerges spontaneously in different periods and places in history - is based on something indefinable that allows the participants to experience what seems to be for all intents and purposes - the presence of the God/Goddess in one’s partner.

For some, sexuality leads to sainthood; for others it is the road to hell... In my view sexuality is not a leisure or part-time activity. It is a way of being - integral part of human spirituality.

The story of Christianity's development has been painfully marked by a growing chasm, separating body from soul. This story is one of the most significant and fateful developments in the history of the West. A RADICAL renewal of the re-union between Sexuality and Spirituality is absolutely essential for our human health and psyche. This shift could help people to accept tantric massage as a therapy instead of seeing it as prostitution.

Among the monotheistic religions, patriarchal cultures of the ancient world, the Hebrew is unique in their positive valuation of sexuality, erotic love. Hebrew tradition, like tantra, has also consistently celebrated human sexual intimacy and its pleasures. In this tradition, sexual asceticism, celibacy has no religious value. Sexual intercourse in marriage is a religious duty and blessing, a meritorious act. The Talmud describes a debate over whether to include the Song of Songs in the Hebrew Bible. Rabbi Akiba declared it to be the holiest and most sacred part of Scriptures, despite an indication that the lovers are unmarried.

Healing in Tantric Massage

One of the most important thing we can do as therapists and healers is to bear witness: to hold a non-judgmental but discerning space for the person. We need to be able to discern what would help them (a touch, an action, a holding, a medicine, a kind word, an observation, humour, etc ), but we cannot be judgmental, for judgment limits and constrains where healing needs room for natural expansion. Bearing witness means being able to see things as they are, not as we wish they would be, or we think they should be, and to "hold space" compassionately for whatever arises. Much of the work of a healer lies in being present to another, not frightened by their emotions, not closed down, not colluding, not withholding - just being present.




The empathic witnessing by a therapist is in itself a reparative, healing, relationship. In therapeutic bodywork and tantric massage a male therapist can provide the quality of touch and presence that can restore health in mind, body and soul. The quality of this presence will also create safety and in this safe space healing can happen.

Kabbalah and Tantric Massage

This is an honoring, loving full body massage, in which every part of the body is held, massaged, explored and healed. Feelings of repressed sexuality and traumas, as well as low self-esteem, poor body image, (eg. due to abuse, disability, radical breast surgery, etc.) can be treated and healed through this modality. You will emerge with a new-found confidence. All the receiver has to do is just relax into the moment and enjoy the healing, the energy shifts. Tantric massage, given with the right intentions, never leaves the person feeling lonely, or empty. It doesn’t try and manipulate, or please. It is profound, emotional and spiritual and heals on a cellular level. The therapist has to be exceptionally experienced, sensitive, confident, clear with a great degree of emotionally intelligence.

In tantric bodywork, the entire body is first lovingly massaged - deeply, and therapeutically. This is the way you’ve always longed to be touched, but never really imagined this kind of touch really existed. The therapist has no personal needs whatsoever, and he is not doing it to meet his own sexual needs. His joy is tuning in to you and the flow of your energy. Suddenly you find yourself unable to distinguish between body parts - you’ve been experiencing a gradual progression in the massage, which feels absolutely right and natural as every part of your body awakened. He isn’t asking anything from you – you’re not expected to reciprocate in any way, other than to soften and receive any pleasure that happens. He knows how to touch and when hold you, when to stop and do absolutely nothing. He remains still, resting, gently tapping in to an energy and transmitting it back into the core of your body.

In tantric massage. the empathic presence of a male therapist is in itself a reparative relationship, particularly where there is a history of abuse or traumatic sexual experience, where the quality of the masculine presence creates safety. In this safe space healing can happen.